Bacterium

My doctor found some inflammation in my stomach. 

Which he says could be some bacteria that causes ulcers ..?

A friend of mine said ... "No more drinking for you!"

Does this mean I cannot drink anymore? 

Am I really a "drinker".

I cleaned my closet this evening. 

Tried on some jeans that I used to wear in HS.

This has motivated me to start working out.

I am 122lbs but I would like to go down to 110 ... or 115. 

I have super cellulite on my thighs and butt. 

I am too skinny to have cottage cheese legs!

So my "jump off" guy ... was talking to me today.

If I am going to be his "jump off" then why does he talk to me all the time.

I thought "cut buddies" were just sex partners and that's it!?!

I didn't know we could actually have this so called friendship where we text each other every night to see how each other is doing. 

I am so confused. 

I have my platonic relationship that is moving into some other kind of relationship.

Only if he wasn't a sloppy kisser ... then I'd feel much better about making it into something else. 

Is that me being shallow? Or is it that I have needs and they aren't being met because he eats my face ... 

I always find the wrong kind of guys .. I swear

My other friend ... my twin we will call him ... he got pissed of the other day because I told him that my other guy ... we shall call him the 30 yr old ... asked me to be his jump off.

He said ... "How come you let these losers talk nasty to you ... and me a good guy .. when I talk like that to you .. you get mad" ...

I beg your pardon!?

Let me give you the run down on my guys ::

30 yr old - a good friend of the family .. wants me to be his cut buddy .. but doesn't want to disrespect my father ... 

Jamaican lover - my best best friend for like 6 yrs

Twin - Loser I met in college that gets mad that I do not allow him to sex me lol

Ghetto Twin - This idiot who said he was better than me but yet shares a room with his twin 22 year old brother ... in their twin beds .. haha 

Random - my random guy that I met on the streets at a local University ... clearly thought he went to school there .. turns out he doesn't .. and is just another loser with no education!

So ... this is what I am dealing with. 

It never fails ... this is my life .... 

I am going out Saturday with my friend .. hopefully I can find someone that is more my type.

If not ... I am so giving up ... or maybe I will find myself a  girlfriend.

Some random girl on myspace ... YES MYSPACE! sent me a message saying that I am beautiful.

Meow! 

I was thinking about cutting my hair. 

I am tired of it being long.

I want something different. 

I don't know what to do anymore with my pathetic ass life. 

Depressing I know ....

Maybe I am a Manic Depressive ..... eh?